(taken from my creativity blog, Systematic Chaos, written on August 3, 2011)
It's been a long time since the last time I drew something. To be honest, I can't even remember when that time was...
A few months back, I received an e-mail from a woman on a very old art account I used to have when I was much younger. Humouring myself, I clicked on the link. Much to my surprise, this woman had gotten a tattoo of one of my drawings on her arm. It was this one, something I had drawn for my mum back on August 4th, 2003:
My mother got very sick around this time: August, 2009. I remember visiting her one day in the hospital and seeing a card from one of her sisters, my aunty, there. It was a card with a phoenix on it. My mum struggled a lot throughout her life and in the hospital for 3 months before finally passing away in November of the same year.
My sisters and my step father all talked about getting tattoos to commemorate mum and remember her by. I knew I wanted to get a phoenix over my heart. I just needed the idea.
Finally, today, the idea came. Like most of my ideas, it came out of left field, out of nowhere. The moment it came into my head, I needed to get it out. So I did. An hour after the seed was planted, this is what transpired (one day shy of the 8 year anniversary of my first phoenix drawing to my mother):
I don't remember much of how the drawing came to be. To be honest, it felt like I had blanked out... almost as though I was in a trance. I do remember crying, and hurting. After it was all said and done, I felt better. I think there was so much more healing than what the drawing was meaning to give me.
I needed that release.